


Pizza pasta

by Dodo



Series: The Cheese Stands Alone [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bonding, Cheesy, Don't copy to another site, Fluff, Inappropriate use of food, M/M, Nudity, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, dum-e is romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 03:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20303083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/pseuds/Dodo
Summary: Steve's first big delivery takes him to Stark tower in the middle of a slush storm, where he meets his future husband to be much to the dismay of Tony Stark.orDum-e proposes to the first human, he sees after his dad spends to much time in the bottle





	Pizza pasta

**Author's Note:**

  * For [willidothefandango (nagth)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagth/gifts).

> I saw a ditty on tumblr and was inspired. I've recently finished a bunch of in life things and dealing with a lot of social things so my writing muse has been mia. as it usually does with stress. 
> 
> https://starfleetcryptid.tumblr.com/post/187030680770/gayantigone-reinhelm-dadical-i-want-you-all  
idk how to proper link this cursed thing but it got stuck and this fic was directly inspired

Ah friday night, thinking it would be fairly sedated since with the terrible weather. Sky couldn’t decide if it was going to snow or rain so they got slush on the ground, occasional fits of hail. Clint had been hoping that the foot traffic would be considerably less. He was right, however he’d forgotten about take out and delivery.

That part of the business had been hopping. Sam had just taken some boxes out on his scooter dressed for a flood complete with the big plastic pants that had feet on the bottom. The food out for deliver had mostly been Natasha’s idea. The russian inspired portion of their menu had been a hit. Clint had begrudgingly allowed several of the ‘best’ Russian food on the list and allowed several of the italian dishes to be merged.

He watched the pizza bubble in the brick oven, frowning the pelmeni had out sold pizza the past three days. Natasha was looking quite pleased about it, it had started off as a sure in for Clint it was new york who didn’t love pizza? Well apparently when competing with authentic pelmeni it lost. That and he clearly had underestimated Natasha’s network of Russians, that had made their restaurant part of their life.

He didn’t much mind that it was better than the empty mondays and wednesdays. He just wished he was better at not falling into Natasha’s traps. He was a fool, he would follow her hook line and sinker. He ought to marry her, once he paid off his loans, get her a decent ring, preferably from the siberian jewelry a block away. Maybe just a really nice knife instead of a ring. She seemed more of a knife lady anyways.

The pizzas were done he carefully constructed the monstrosity that he’d put on his menu, when he’d be so high, or drunk. It had been there for years and every once in a great while someone would order it. This was to go though, Stark tower, Clint shrugged maybe it was a joke though they’d already paid.

Clint shoved the box of 'pasta pizza' on the pick up window and rang the bell. It was some terrible conglomerate of italian food. it was more like several pizzas, with pasta, lasagna of pizza. it was the best drunk food, but sober it was daunting. If not disgusting the box was pretty large. He watched their new hire size it up.

Steve was a stick, a personality that didn’t match his waifish appearance. The box probably weighed a fourth of him, the uniform they had really didn’t fit him, made him look more emaciated.  
“It goes to Stark tower, Jarvis ordered it so I think he’ll meet you in the lobby.”

Steve nods holding the box close, teeth chewing on his bottom lip as he heads out to the grey day. It would take him a while, with a bicycle, Clint shrugged he’d never made a boast about speed, british man who ordered it had known about the distance.

\---------------

Stark tower was quite far away but Steve managed to make good time to the halfway point. He counted that as a victory, though when the darker heavier clouds rolled in his joy turned sour. He tried to pedal faster but as the near ice like quality of the rain started to pelt him he slowed his speed. Rubbing his sodden hair out of his face, at least the oder was safe in the vinyl bag.

It had been his first time seeing the ‘pizza pasta’ it was so much food. He assumed it was for a party, and now he had a reason to go to Stark tower, not that he needed a reason but it still felt very improper to enter a random building and scope out places to draw. He could practically hear bucky complain about his ‘old world’ sensibilities.

By the time Steve arrived at the tower he was soaked, the red fabric of the t-shirt clung his pants were very uncomfortable. The vinyl bag still had some heat to it so after he locked his bike up he hefted the strap over his arm and entered the tower. There were fewer people inside than he thought there would be puasing in the entrance in partial awe of the light structures and how the atrium drew the eyes up and up and up.

It was also cool, and he was soaked in the short amount of time he’d stopped to admire the wonderfully light architecture he was shivering so he made haste to the front desk trying not to look guilty about the puddle he’d left behind. The lady at the desk didn’t even spare him a look when he fumbled his delivery announcement.  
“Who ordered it?”  
“Jarvis?”

The lady did give him a strange look but the elevator to the left of her pingged open. She sighed and went back to her work, Steve stood there unsure on what to do.  
“The elevator is for you.”  
“Oh, thank you!”

Steve wobbled away from the desk that he’d been leaning on and got into the elevator just in time to hear the lady call for some wet floor signs. The doors closed quietly and the elevator took off, Steve stumbled into the wall hand going for the rail it was going too fast. His ears popped twice. He feared it was going to be like that willy wonka scene except that he’d die at the end of it. Splattered on the streets of New York.

The doors opened with a quiet snick, Steve took a while getting out. His legs felt strange and he was very cold. He was in the penthouse, and there was a huge piece of art just paint drizzles. Was it a Pollock? He struggled to hold the delivery pouch as he leaned towards it. There was a whirring noise and Steve straightened up.

A robot arm trundled its way to Steve. It made a pinching motion at the bag.  
“Delivery for Jarvis.”  
Steve uttered holding onto the bag, as if to protect it from the arm. This was his job and he wasn’t going to foul up his first big profile delivery. The arm perked up and did a shimmy in place and wheeled away. Steve decided he ought to follow it maybe the arm knew where the mysterious Jarvis was?

He entered the area that could be the kitchen but the place was so open that it could have been the living room. Steve carefully pulled the box out of the vinyl protection bag. The underside was soggy still warmish, the box on top looked fine and he was in the process of opening it to see how the food was doing. When mid step the robotic arm appeared at his side with a loud beep, the claw grabbed at him and he stumbled over the wide base.

The box flew from his hands and tumbled food side down into a man that was seated at the table. A man who he recognized from the floor as Tony Stark, took him a few moments to realize it was a very naked Tony Stark. The arm was petting his head issuing a very low beep noise, Steve decided that maybe it had been trying to prevent him from seeing the naked Mr. Stark. Naked and drunk, there was a decanter half full and he certainly wasn’t using a cup.

“Cheese on my peeny, come lick the sauce off my balls.”  
Steve had managed to pick himself up, with a lot of help from the arm. His eyes darted down and he could feel his face flush, he turned his head to look at the brilliant red accent wall.  
“Oh god, your lines are the cheesy ones”  
The arm offered a pleasing ‘beep boop’ as it wanted to be part of the conversation.

Steve slung his arm over the robot.  
“I’ll date you, far nicer. A nice robot like you could really help.”  
The arm did that shimmy but more careful with Steve leaning on the arm boom, it beeped happily.

Mr. Stark was still covered in pasta pizza and his dick was still hard and it was very hard for Steve not to notice that. The man had his head tipped back, the muscles flexing as he spoke to the ceiling quite distraught.

“J, he’s going to take my son away, why would you bring him here?”  
“I am sorry sir but you were quite adamant, in that you needed pasta pizza. Only one restaurant offers such a thing.”  
“No they just put the food in the elevator. No people.”  
The ceiling voice was most likely Jarvis, Steve let the arm lead him out of the pizza pasta mess.  
“Yes, he was quite soaked and with the weather now, I’ve called his work they know he’s here safe, a curfew has been issued. Follow the lights Steve, let's get you cleaned up.”

The lights in the hallway flickered on and he let the arm guide him to what looked to be a guest suite. He looked at the arm.  
“Jarvis?”  
The claw tilted at him and made a disagreeable beep, which Steve interpreted as ‘me? No!’. The claw left him to bath, which had already been drawn, there was a fresh towel and clothes waiting as well.

Everything was very nice, Steve spent a lot longer in the bath. The jets were very nice, he played with a few of the setting. As the cold stiffness faded from his joints, he dosed in the tub letting his body become a prune he could get used to this. He got out reluctantly the floor was heated much to his delight.

The clothes were ones that the interns would get, once a long time ago, Steve had been envious of his fellow classmates, that had gotten in. He’d gotten in too but his mother’s health had taken a turn and he’d taken off to tend to her. He didn’t regret it, spending the last half year with his mom, he needed it. To make peace with it, his mom had urged him to go back to school after everything. He’d meant too, really did. He was still in the process of paying off the debt that had racked up with the hospital. Plus his scholarship had expired so he’d need more money to finish up his schooling. He couldn’t be like Bucky and enlist, he’d tried but they wouldn’t take a shrimp like him.

He’d been hopping from small job to small job, he was lucky Sam had vouched for him at the Hawk’s Nest. even if it was only part time, then he could juggle the other odd jobs. The arm was waiting in the hallway for him. It was holding a single flower It was taking a very low pose. Was it bending on a knee and proposing to him? the glass flower probably from one of the arrangements in the hallway. He accepted the flower gratefully, thanking it profusely and saying "I do," then he placed the flower on the side table. The arm whistled and turned around, but the claw craned back. Ah it wanted Steve to follow.

Back in the cleaned up kitchen, Tony Stark was seated in the same chair as before but this time clothed the sheer red silk house coat, which Steve could see a black shirt and boxers under it. It was good enough he couldn’t tell if the other was hard and that helped Steve. There was a coffee cup that Mr. Stark was nursing. The arm pulled out the chair and Steve thanked it with an idle pat.

He found Mr. Stark looking at him and found the need to watch the arm as it brought him some coffee and doughnuts from the counter. He thanked it again, smiling at the shimmy wiggle dance the arm did. The arm motored off and Steve looked down at his coffee, contemplative.  
“I don’t condone this, you can’t take my baby away. Dum-e is mine.”

Steve frowned as he put the cup down it was much too hot to drink, He looked at Stark. Perplexed dum-e? He hoped it was the name of the robot he’d seen that etched on the strut.  
“I’m sorry but he loves me and I love him, and he’s already proposed to me with flowers. Mr. Stark you are already so far behind him. Maybe give up? We’ll invite you to the wedding of course.”

Steve managed to utter with a straight face as he reached for the blueberry muffin glazed donut. He kept the act up by divesting his full attention in breaking the pastry in half and nibbling on one part as he sipped his coffee. He couldn’t resist a quick look at Stark who was watching him with a strange expression.

The coffee cup clatted against the granite table top.  
“You come into my house toss pizza pasta on my dick, you propose to my first born without my consent, tell me to give up? I will not, and now you eat my favorite doughnuts? I better be best man!”  
Arms wide as he exclaimed there was a twinkle in his eye. Steve chewed thoughtfully with one finger held up. Washing the confection down with the bitter coffee the way he liked it too.

“Sorry Jarvis is the best man, Dum-e is very persuasive. I can’t say no to him, he also wants a nice big train and a veil.”  
He picked a bit more of the doughnut and popped it into his mouth trying to keep up the nonchalance of the whole thing. Tony Stark however burst out laughing. Head on the table hand slapping on the rock of the table.

“Oh god, Steve? May I call you that? HE would totally want a veil...I’m sorry but the state of new york wouldn’t recognize your union.”  
Stark chortled some more looking at his tv that was playing the news muted since it was no doubt playing the inclement weather alarm according to the yellow ribbon scrolling at the bottom.

Steve shrugged  
“Doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, Dum-e is a swell guy.”  
Stark snorted again hand rubbing at his eyes.

“I ought to apologize,”  
Steve waved it off.  
“No problem, the bath made up for it.”  
The silence returned but it was a good silence and when Steve realized Tony was eye the other half of his doughnut he offered it to the other, who refused till he insisted that he take the other half. More silence but then Stark or rather Tony, insisted they could watch a movie or something.

That’s how he ended up on the plush couch watching some movie he’d put on his to see list. With a throw wrapped around his legs and sitting so very close to Tony, who was kind enough to pause the film before he started to complain about the film’s inaccuracies. They watched two movies as the weather picked up outside, and during the second movie Steve started to dose. this was a good sort of thing, not at all what he expected for his first big delivery.

“Hey this is nice we should do it again.”  
Steve muttered he was fighting sleep at the end of the film. He’d outdone himself it seemed. Probably the distance of the delivery. He felt Tony on his side stiffen, then relax.  
“Yeah I’d like that.”  
He felt Tony tuck the throw over his body and in the last bit of semi coherent thought was a frantic and mismash of emotion.  
“What do we tell Dum-e?”


End file.
